Letting Go
by aquakazer20
Summary: It's the anniversary of Finns fathers death. Unanswered questions, pent up emotions, how can he be with Sam if he can't let go of the past?
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys, this is my first attempt at fan fiction. Yes i know there are a few errors, but i'm human T.T. the song i used is called briane by Boyce Avenue. Please review any feed back is really appreciated to help me with further work. So on that note enjoy =).

_You're ashamed about all your fears and doubts_  
><em>and how I hurt you<em>  
><em>can you make it back from the aftermath<em>  
><em>and how I left you<em>

Rain was pouring but he didn't care, he just knelt in front of the tombstone unable to speak…just stare. A war of emotions was waging inside him fear, anger, and sadness all battling to win but in the end he would lose.

_Nobody wants to be alone_  
><em>with the fear of letting go<em>  
><em>If you could hear me say<em>  
><em>"It's gonna be okay"<em>  
><em>Would you be okay?<em>

And then with the strength he had, he let out a scream that anyone within miles could hear. It was an angry fury that can only be described as dealing with pain. "HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME, HOW COULD YOU WHEN THERE ARE TIMES LIKE NOW WHERE I NEED YOU"!

_And though I've gone away_  
><em>I still see what you're going through<em>  
><em>It kills me every day<em>  
><em>To know I killed what meant most to you<em>  
><em>So when you pass my grave<em>  
><em>Leave a rose for what might have been<em>  
><em>And know that it's okay<em>  
><em>To shed your tears and find love again<em>

"How can I do this without you, I'm lost, scared, and so confused" the boy pleaded. But when no one answered he just broke down then and there. Through his tears he just repeated "I'm not strong enough, please come back".

"Finn?" The boy looked back; in front of him was another guy, his eyes fighting back tears as if to be strong enough to comfort the other.

_I hear you say_  
><em>"I don't know how and I don't know why"<em>  
><em>But there will come one day<em>  
><em>when I'll tell all the things inside<em>  
><em>Just know there's someone above here to help you<em>

Without a warning Finn just sprung up and held the other boy close to him, holding him so tight incase he would disappear. "Sshhh baby, don't worry I'm here" the other boy said. Through some sobs Finn asks "how can I do this Sam, how can I just, let him go...How can we happen if I can't even go 5 seconds without remembering him?" Finn points at the tombstone that reads Christopher Hudson beloved father and war veteran. "How can I just forgive him for leaving me, when right now I need him the most…I…Hate…Him" as soon as those words leaves his lips, his eyes close shut, and he shakes his head as if he committed a crime worse than murder. "Am I a bad person?"

Sam just looks at Finn with a shocked face "what, Finn no, look at me (Finn's eyes are still closed) please look at me". Slowly but surely his eyes open. "It's ok to be angry at your father. When my grandma died I hated her for it, I felt scared and alone and I hated her for it. You're going thru a lot right now, and keeping those emotions bottled up isn't going to help anyone. I know letting him go isn't easy, it takes time. Just know no matter what I'm here for you and…I…well…I love you. Finn eyes widen, he can't seem to control his voice and stutters "w…wait I'm sorry what…you what, why?"

"I said I love you, and to answer why...yea, you make mistakes, confuse words, and are sometimes known to be dubious. But all those things don't matter because all I see is someone caring, worthwhile and awesome, I wouldn't be standing here if I didn't care about you. I love you Finn Hudson and if you can't accept that well tough because I'm not going anywhere" Sam says smiling as if it were obvious. Finn just stares at Sam, he can't believe someone could care for him so much, even would go so far as go to a cemetery to support him while he's yelling at his late father grave stone. "Sam…I…screw it". Finn brings Sam close to him, wraps his arms around his waist and pulls him for a passionate kiss, his eyes closed shut so he could let all his pent up emotions flow right out in that kiss. Sam wraps his arms around Finns neck, deepening the kiss letting him know that he meant what he said. After what seems like hours they break the kiss, and Finn says two words that would stop even Sylvester in her tracks "marry me".

_And though I've gone away_  
><em>I still see what you're going through<em>  
><em>It kills me every day<em>  
><em>To know I killed what meant most to you<em>  
><em>So when you pass my grave<em>  
><em>Leave a rose for what might have been<em>  
><em>And know that it's okay<em>  
><em>To shed your tears and find love again<em>


	2. Chapter 2

So i changed it from a one shot to a in progress, it was raining outside and inspiration came out of nowhere. The song is called I'm with you by Avril Lavigne. So, yea enjoy =)

_I'm standing on a bridge_  
><em>I'm waiting in the dark<em>  
><em>I thought that you'd be here by now<em>

Sam just stared at Finn and asked "wait, I'm sorry what did you say"? Finn looks at the ground, face red from embarrassment and the chill of the rain that was pouring, with no signs of stopping. Words trying to form but he couldn't bring himself to speak.

_There's nothing but the rain_  
><em>No footsteps on the ground<em>  
><em>I'm listening but there's no sound<em>

Sam starts to get worried, he leans in to the point their foreheads are on one another. He wraps his hands in Finns, brings them to his lips and kisses them. Finally breaking the silence He says to Finn "ask me again".

_Isn't anyone tryin to find me?_  
><em>Won't somebody come take me home?<em>

His gaze shifts from the ground up to the blonde before him, "are you sure" the taller boy asks. Sam just repeats with more seriousness in his voice "ask me again". Finn could see the passion in Sam's eyes, how could he refuse.

_It's a damn cold night_  
><em>Trying to figure out this life<em>  
><em>Won't you take me by the hand<em>  
><em>Take me somewhere new<em>  
><em>I don't know who you are<em>  
><em>But I... I'm with you<em>

"Sam". Finn started but could settle the swarm of butterflies that seem to flying in his stomach. Then he just gazed into Sam's eyes, and found the confidence he needed and said what he needed to say; slowly as if it were the last thing he would ever say. "Samuel Evans…wil…will you marry me"?

_I'm looking for a place_  
><em>I'm searching for a face<em>  
><em>Is anybody here I know<em>  
><em>'Cause nothing's going right<em>  
><em>And everything's a mess<em>  
><em>And no one likes to be alone<em>

"Look Finn, before I give my answer there are a few things you have to promise me first, ok"? Finn nods to which Sam lets a sigh of relief, and says "whether I answer yes or no promise me this, you will talk to someone, like Miss Pillsbury about how your feeling and deal with any issues you got against your dad". Finn nods. "And no matter what the reason, you will talk to me if there's something on your mind".

_Oh why is everything so confusing_  
><em>Maybe I'm just out of my mind<em>  
><em>Yea yea yea!<em>

Time passes, seconds become minutes, and minutes become more of a likely hood that these two guys were going to stay soaked in the rain, but they didn't care. Finn seemed to be contemplating about something; yea Sam found Finn's goofiness adorable but rare times like this when Finn is seriously thinking about something reminded Sam why he fell for him in the first place. Then Finn broke the silence that was lurking the cemetery "well Mr. Evans you present a compelling argument, but I have to say no". Sam is completely taken by surprise and begins to protest but the taller boy cuts him off. "Not that it's not doable, but I've had a long day yelling and an emotional break down….kind of takes its toll on a guy". The blond just stares at Finn like he was insane, then he see that Finn is smiling. "But I'm going to kindly…_refuse_ your offer because, there's this guy that I'm pretty much in love with". With that he takes out his keys and on one of the chains there's a picture. The picture of both of them the day they went to the carnival, Finn had his arm around Sam's shoulder on the Ferris wheel with a smile of pure joy.

Tears start to weal up in Sam's eyes as Finn finally says "and I would pretty much do anything for him". As soon as those words were uttered he takes out a gold colored ring and gets down on one knee. "The reason I came here was cause, I was trying to sort through all my mistakes I've make in the past, the pain of losing my dad, and us". Sam listens intently, finding the will not to just cry. "I know I'm not the smartest, or the best looking, and I've made a ton of mistakes. But one thing I know is that I can't imagine who else to spend the rest of my life with. You've helped me through so much it's time I faced my fears and say what I need to say….that you're the one Sam…will you marry me".

_Take me by the hand_  
><em>Take me somewhere new<em>  
><em>I don't know who you are<em>  
><em>But I... I'm with you<em>  
><em>I'm with you<em>

One word left Sam's lips, and that one word would change their lives forever.


	3. Chapter 3

Hi guys, i decided to take a break of combining lyrics with this story line. I just finished this story around 5am, and being that i'm gonna be out from the house all day,and wont get the chance to meet with my editors decided to just upload it and fix it later. so i apologize for any errors and redundancies that you might come across, i will fix them later on today. so enjoy and don't forget to review =).

"I'm sorry Finn, but my answer is no". The taller boy looked crushed as if someone had stolen a newborn baby right from the mothers grasp after delivery. "Oh…well…that's cool… I guess" Finn said with a hint of disappointment. As he starts to put the ring back in his pocket his boyfriend grasped his hands, stopping any motion that was and what might be. All Finn is able to do is just look at the ground, for if he even glanced at Sam it would just be too much to bear. The blonde sensing Finns disappointment, decided to break the tension "at least hear me out, please". Finn just nodded, preparing for the worst. So many thoughts were running through the quarterback's mind, "_oh god I moved too fast, he's going to break up with me, why doesn't either of us have an umbrella"_?

"Finn, first off I know what you're thinking and no I am not breaking up with you". You didn't need to be a telepath to know Finns reaction to Sam's statement. Sam pressed on " I would love to marry you, but I meant what I said when I asked for you to talk to someone like Miss. Pillsbury about what's going on; I want you to stop keeping these feelings bottled up like this…right now were just not ready for this type of step". After what seemed like an eternity being on one knee, Finn finally rises from the ground. He looks at his lover straight in the eye, with a look that is riddled with confusion and curiosity. "Finn what's wrong"?

"I'm going to be completely honest with you Sam, part of me was expecting you to break up with me, because I thought I might've been taking things a little too fast with the proposal". The blonde was about to say something, but Finn just continued. "I mean look at me, I dance like a cat chasing a laser pointer light, I admit my deepest feelings for you along with proposing to you…in a cemetery…after yelling at my father tombstone, And I'm pretty sure if I was even close to some form of smart I would've brought an umbrella so neither of us would be soaked right now…..why are you even with me Sam, you could have anyone you want, why settle for me". After that sudden outburst the taller boy just shuts his eyes and keeps his head down, but he hears a slight chuckle that evolves into laughter.

This just deepens Finns embarrassment, becoming distant in thought until Sam's voice snaps him back to reality. "Is that really what you think"? Finn just nods. "Ok this is why I made you promise me to talk to someone before I gave my answer, but I need you to look at me to see that I'm serious about this". He slowly raises his head, opens his eyes to see the blonde angelic being smile before him. Sam continues "I have, and always loved you Finn that will never change, but I just can't keep making myself make you see the goodness in yourself. It's like an endless cycle with you. You say you're over the loss of your dad and other mistakes yet here you are dealing with it again. It's like your way of trying to burn me out, push me away, and punishing yourself all at once".

"Do you want to know why I want to be with you Finn"? All the taller boy could do to respond was just shake his head. "I'm not going to lie; you do have some iffy qualities. Sometimes you treat everything as a joke; it takes you a long time to make up your mind, and you doubt yourself too much". The look on Finn's face seems like a kitten being crushed by a bulldozer during a Disney parade. "But when I look at you, i see the most caring person in the world, I know your trying…and you're learning to deal with your problems. You're learning the times to be silly and to be serious. And it takes a lot of guts to get down on one knee and do what you did; when you showed me that picture of us, on the Ferris wheel that just proves to me, that you care about all of this, and are willing to try…I couldn't ask for a better boyfriend".

Finn just stares at Sam, as if he was on some sort of medication and the words he was saying weren't his words. "Sam, I", but the blonde cut him off. "No Finn, no more talking, no more trying to fix things I'm sorry but it's done". Finn couldn't believe it, he gave his heart, his body, his everything to Sam only to have it just chewed up and spit back at him. "Wait, Sam what do you mean it's done, I thought we we're still together". The blonde just smiles at Finn "oh we still are, but this trying to solve all your problems by yourself thing, that's what's done not us". As soon as it dawned on Finn what Sam had truly meant he decided to do something he didn't have the guts to do with Rachel, or even Quinn.

He took a deep breath and was about to say something, but the blonde beat him to the punch "Finn just….shut up". And with that Sam pulled him in for the most passionate kiss they had ever received, sending them into a state of mine where Words meant nothing. all their feelings for one another was expressed in that one single action. Screw ignorance, this…this was truly bliss. Anything and everything that became a Hollywood cliché was happening to these two teenagers. Behind their closed eyes fireworks were exploding, butterflies were dissipating from their stomachs. And as if that wasn't enough, Finn took the final initiative. He slowly wrapped his arms around Sam pulled him even closer than ever thought possible, his boyfriend reciprocated by weaving his arms around the others neck. And with just one motion Finn lifted Sam into the air, tightening his grip to make sure he didn't fall.

After awhile they broke apart gasping for air, when Finn suggested; "you know…not that I'm complaining, but I kinda want to get out of the rain". Sam chuckled at His boyfriends somewhat request. And with that Finn leaned into Sam's ear and said seductively,"and I know the perfect place". Sam bit his lip to keep his what was a passable poker face. Finn knew he had the blonde right where he wanted him, as they starting leaving the cemetery, Finn knew he had one last thing to do. "Hold on I'll be right back". Finn was in front of his father tombstone once again and said "I know it wasn't my fault or yours that you're not here, but I want you to know there's someone in my life that I love and loves me back, and I'm going to do my best to treat him along with myself the best that I can…thanks dad". He places a single rose on the site and rushes back to the awaiting other. "Everything ok" the blonde asks. The taller boy just smiles and puts his hands in his lovers..."yea I think things are going to be alright". Little did they know there was someone awaiting them at the entrance gates, someone neither of the boys expect to be waiting for them? Dave Karofsky.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys, sorry about the delay alot of stuff has been going on and been kinda putting off work but i decided to post another chapter. I basically given up on song fics and flat out...attempt to write. i apologize for any grammar issues you might deal with. so enjoy, review, and...enjoy reviewing (idk). i also noticed it was a little jumbled up so i figured this was better and easier to read...damn uploader fail.**

We find our heroes were we last left them, on the route to vermilion city… (Wait wrong story line) he he

It was quite in the guidance office, usually Emma didn't hold Saturday sessions but since Finn wanted to meet with her so badly plus she had the day free,

so she couldn't say no. She just sat on her chair; hands folded on her desk, watching the quarterback twiddle his thumbs. The silence was too much to bear

and a small voice in Finns head spoke up "you got to do this, for yourself and Sam…so STOP BEING A BITCH AND SAY SOMETHING!" As if on cue he spoke up

"I'm not too sure how to do this, I mean I'm grateful that you are doing this miss. Pillsbury". She just gave Finn a reassuring smile… which actually put Finn at

ease. "Look Finn, I know this is hard for you, well opening up is hard for anyone god knows it was hard for me. But we don't have to rush this just take your

time and I'll be here to help anyway I can, and what's said here stays here I promise". Tears started filling in Finns eyes, next thing he knew he was crying

his own personal demons seem to be escaping through this vulnerability.

"Is it terrible that I feel like I don't belong here, that no matter what I do I always feel like I shouldn't be here"? "well, um Finn most people feel like they

don't belong in high school, some feel like they're just to cool to be here or"…but Finn cut her off "no no no…I don't mean just in school..i mean…living..At all".

Emma just stared at him, slowly processing what she just heard, on the outside she seemed calm but on the inside she was having a panic attack as if

Rachel's personality came to life and tried to consume her. "Wait I'm confused, are you telling me that you want harm yourself"? Finn knew his shouldn't have

said anything, especially something so private that he hasn't even told Sam yet. But if he wanted to become better, and salvage what's left of control in his

life he knew this was the only way. "No…well not exactly; I better explain…you know how my father died in the war when I was just a baby"? The counselor

nodded, so the taller boy just continued.

"What I'm about to tell you I haven't told anyone, not even the person that I love; its a little hard for me to say but I need to get a few things off my chest.

Finn just took a deep breath and began his story (within this story…it's like inception except not the sequel to titanic). _It was a bright and sunny day in Lima _

_Ohio, the birds were singing, the summer sun was melting peoples souls, it was a joyous time enjoyed by some. Finn was in the living room watching TV, with only _

_2 weeks before the summer was over he decided to just sit back and relax before entering the 7__th__ grade. Then he heard the phone ringing, it was Carole telling Finn _

_she was parked across the street and needed help with the groceries also she had a surprise for Finn. Excited about the surprise he went outside to see his mother _

_opening the trunk, he looked both way and saw that no cars were coming, and the light at the nearest crosswalk was red to opposing tragic, so he decided to cross _

_the street. Little did he know that there was a car somewhat speeding his way, even though the light was red the car turned towards where Finn was crossing. As _

_soon as Finn saw the car it was as if he was in a movie with no stunt double, he saw the car coming towards him, then….darkness. As if being hit by that car _

_transported the quarter back into oz, only there wasn't any witches or munchkins just utter darkness. Finn felt like he was floating, there was no pain, no doubt, _

_even though he couldn't see, couldn't feel, Finn just knew he was at peace. Time had no meaning, he just kept on floating in the endless abyss, and he knew that _

_everything would be alright so there was no reason to even think of trying worry or to see if this was a dream. But then he slowly started to open his eyes._ **(Ok **

**before I continue in order to fully understand this, mostly cause I suck at explaining things. Finn walked across the street got hit head on by a car, and **

**woke up on the opposite side of the street)**, _and much to his surprise at the other side of the street, everyone and their mom was there witnessing what had happened._

"My mom told me that I was out cold for awhile, after that I remember the ambulance came, put me on a stretcher, and took me to the hospital. But before I

was there they had to take my clothes off, so they cut the side with some kind of scissors. Next thing I know I'm at the hospital, my body on this really

uncomfortable board, my head taped to it because I couldn't move during a C.A.T scan, it really sucked". Emma just stared at Finn her mouth opened wide in

shock. "Wow…um..But you're ok right, I mean of course you're ok you're here, but I mean". Finn just grinned and nodded "yea I get what you mean, and well

to be honest physically I'm fine, I had to go to a neurologist and chiropractor for a while, the chiropractor said I was lucky to be alive, and only had 8 lives

left". Silence fell upon the room again, that was till Finn took the initiative. "How do you cope from that, I mean I don't know if I was dead or just knocked

out, but the place I went to …was peaceful, and felt right. And now I'm here just trying to make it thru the day. My school work is in shambles because I'm

starting to lose interest in stuff that made me happy before. I'm letting my emotions cloud everything, and I'm being more dramatic then Rachel is when

someone does a better job of singing Barbra Streisand than her…I just…don't know". A small cough was heard from the doorway; both Emma and Finn

looked at the source. There stood Sam, his face hard as stone, trying to seem like he didn't hear Finns story. But everyone in that office knew this was only

the beginning.

**I know, it seems like i'm jumping the story line, but trust me this is relevant and needed to explain what happened in the previous chapter. which expands into the next chapter which we find out what happened in the cemetery with Dave. Its a working progress so please don't destroy me. **


	5. Chapter 5

**So, yea..about my last note where i said this would explain the whole cemetery scene...i kinda lied. i know i know i'm sorry but i figured this was slightly better. so yea enjoy =)**

"Um…Sam what are you" but Finn was cut off by the blonde who apparently lost the power to speak coherently. "I was running laps on the track field…

and...Dinosaurs were eating marshmallows…and ducks….were…why didn't you tell me you potentially were dead?" Both Emma and Finn just stared at Sam.

Finns sole mind track was oh crap my boyfriend just found out I'm keeping stuff from him, while Emma's was just wondering how could dinosaurs buy

marshmallows. To keep everyone from thinking more deranged yet comical thoughts Emma thought of a clever way to get Finn to open up and to get Sam to

show Finn that he's not alone…but first needed an ice breaker. "Who wants prostitutes?"

Both boys just gawked at the red head and simultaneously asked what. "That was just to get your attention, look it's clear that Finn has issues that he has

to overcome, and that Sam wants to show him that he's not alone. So I suggest something that's a little….unconventional and a little extreme…but it might

work." She staled for a little while till both boys gave her a look that screamed; tell us we're dying over here. "Finn I want you to look Sam straight in the

eye, and confront him as he where the person, or event that's troubling you." Finn immediately responded by shaking his head and just repeated one word

over and over…no. "I'm sorry Miss. p but I can't do that, I won't do it…I'm not going to put the love of my life in a situation that might actually make him leave

me, I wouldn't be able to deal with that…especially with something that's delicate and deep as this…I won't." A tornado of thoughts of emotions where

whirling thru Sam's very core. Sadness from Finns story, anger that Finn didn't tell him that story nor trusted him with helping him deal with the very thing

that separated him and a stable life, and a new feeling that Sam has never felt before…it was warm…bright…with a hint of pineapple.

The blonde did something bold. He got up from his chair, stepped right in front of Finn, got down on both of his knees (not in a dirty way…Gutter minds), and

intertwined their hands/fingers together. "Finn"….no response, the next time Sam spoke his voiced cracked. "Finn look at me, please just look at me". The

taller one raised his head slightly, his tear strung eyes gazing at the most beautiful sight he laid upon. "Finn, I love you, my god you have no idea how much

I love you. But in order for this to work, for us to work…I need you to take me to the heart of all this craziness so we can deal with this and end it now. Trust

me I won't leave you, I just need you to trust me, please baby let me help you." All Finn could do was shake his head, "no this is something that I cannot not

do….once that door is open, I don't know if I could close it again or face what's on the other side." Sam just smiled, placed his hand on the crook of fins chin

and kissed Finn. The kiss wasn't like any either of the boys experienced before. It was soft, though it may have seemed to not be much, in that kiss both of

them were pouring everything they had. No words could express the thoughts, feelings that were being expressed with that single action.

Sam broke the kiss and looked Finn straight in the eye. "I can handle it, I'm not going anywhere…now I need you to trust me and let me in ok?" All Finn could

do was nod. He closed his eyes trying to focus on that single memory, the thing that started it all. Emma could stand by and just do nothing, she stood up

and knelt beside Sam…guiding Finn to that moment that seemed to be holding Finn back. "Finn, I need you to listen to what I'm about to tell you ok?" Again

Finn nodded. "Good, now I need you to take a deep breath and visualize a door." A breath was inhaled…yet nothing. Finn tried again, yet still nothing. Then

that voice in Finns mind spoke up again. _It's not going to work less you work with me. You're talking about helping yourself, being with Sam yet you won't let_

_the past go._ Finn spoke out loud in argument "I'm not strong enough, not like this!". This took both Emma and Sam by surprised. Emma tried to get Finn to

focus, "Finn tell us what's wrong."

The voice spoke up again. **Yes Finn tell them what's wrong or are you to afraid to let people who care about you help ****you… you truly are weak.** "I'M

NOT WEAK, AND I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS!" Sam tried to say something but Emma held him back. "No let him be." Sam looked shocked the red head would

suggest something like that. "What let my boyfriend argue with himself?" Emma remained calm "Finn's having an internal struggle…something he has to do

before letting us in, right now he's in his own world and has to take the first step on his own."_And well that ends this chapter and this story it's been a _

_long…sike…hehe sorry I couldn't resist…anyway moving on now into the depths of Finn's mind**.**_

Though Finn seemed calm on the outside…inside there was a storm so fierce it makes hurricane Charlie seem like a merry go round. Finn stood alone on a

cliff, the wind was howling, thunder and lightning were at war above scorching the skies with light and booming noise. Finn tried to get a feel of where he is,

but all he could see was darkness, darkness that was temporarily cast aside with each bolt of lightning. When he looked below him all he could see was an

endless abyss. "You don't wana go down there (Finn shocked turn around only to see Karofsky in his letterman jacket and khaki shorts) but then again what

other choice you got." Finn shook his head in disbelief. "What the hell you doing here Karofsky, I don't remember inviting you to this mental hell hole!" Dave

just laughed and shook his head as if treating Finn as if he were 5. "You still don't get all of this do you, you think I want to be in this…paradise. I'm here

cause it's your fault homo. Flaunting around that blonde slut like you two was actually worth something." Finn lunged at Karofsky trying to get his hands on

his jacket to pummel his face…yet when he got near he went right thru him.

"What the hell, what just happened?" again Dave simply laughed. "You really are an idiot..i'm not real…well real enough. Let me break this down for you this

place right here, this is what is called in psych 101 as your mind sight. When you close your eyes, your worst fears bring you here...An endless storm with no

light and a one way ticket into the cause of it…but its shrouded in darkness, wana know why?" Finn just smirked, which left Karofsky dumb founded. "Yea I

already know why, cause it's the unknown…don't look so shocked I'm not as dumb as people think. So if I jump down there, it would be over no more second

guessing myself…nothing?" Dave just walked up to the edge. "Only if you want it to be, but let's face it Hudson you don't got the balls, every time your little

fairy gets close you retreat away here, and here's where you'll stay with me...forever." Karofsky made a little kissy face. "Screw this, I'm done." And with

those final words escaped Finns mouth, he ran towards the edge and leapt off the cliff plunging into darkness.

**Yikes...will this be the end for one Finn Hudson...Find out in the next chapter...posted..right now.**


	6. Chapter 6

**I know what your thinking, why is this so short, why are you so handsome. Well kind stranger, i'll tell you. i stated awhile back in the cemetery scene that Dave was there. though i didn't really explain it much recently trust me it will be brought into light. But before that i thought to extend more on Finn's mental journey...lets watch...read...you know what i mean. one quick note. where you see the three * after that quotation mark the rest of the story is told in first person Finn's view.**

The darkness wasn't so bad; it was just like floating in a dream, till a bright light purged thru the veil of blackness. "Finn…finnnn….FINN!" Finn suddenly sat upright. But he wasn't in darkness or even at McKinley…he was in front of his old house before Carole and Burt got together. "What am I doing here?" he then heard a chuckle behind him, and Finn thought oh crap not Karofsky again. He turned around, but it defiantly wasn't Karofsky…It was…"dad". "Hey son, long time no see...well mostly cause I've been dead…sorry bout that." Finns dad was dressed in white from his polo right down to his shoes. "Oh great I'm." but his dad cut him off "no son you're not dead…again…this is basically a little vision quest, except without the native American potion, or cool dance to go into it." Finn was confused yet happy to see his dad, but remembered that he had a job to do. "Sam, Miss Pillsbury…how do I get them here, they've been trying."

His father just smiled. "I know Finn, I know…but once they're here that's it no turning back. I'll still be here but only you can see me, I'll guide you as best as I can." Finn just nodded then took the biggest step he ever could. Back in the office of guidance Sam started to worry. "It's been forever since he's said anything after that little outburst, and I'm starting to get a bad feeling about this." To that Emma just responded "it's been barley 2 minutes, and in cases like these we've barley scratch the surface…just have some faith." Finn started to make some movement, and both of them just looked at him. Finn spoke up "I'm outside my old place, the front door is in front of me…what do I do?" Emma just smiled, and flashed Sam an I told you so face.

"Ok Finn this is where we get right to the bottom of this, I need you to open that door... I also want you to visual Sam and I there with you. ***" Right here with me…not a bad idea, as if right on cue Emma and Sam where right besides the quarter back. "Right here goes" he grabbed the knob and twisted it, the door just opened. That was way too easy he thought. Too easy it was for when the door opened he didn't step inside the door way, he stepped inside his room. "Why am I in my roo…oh no…not this." Sam and Emma looked a little taken back. Sam asked "Finn, baby what's wrong?" he just stuttered, he looked at his father who simply nodded at him.

"I'm…I'm in my room, with my older brother Gus. I'm about 5 he's 12. We had bunk bead he slept on top, and I was left with the bottom, and…..and...I." he thought to himself no I must do this. "This was the beginning of when I questioned my sexuality. This is the first night, that my brother started taking advantage of me sexuality.

**Yes i know the chapter is short, and leaves with a chilling cliff hanger. But this is the end of this probably shouting what a rip off, throwing stuff at your computer pretending it's me. Don't worry everything will be alright. i'm continuing this story line, but in another...story line. It'll take place right after this lovely confession and goes on to possibly a wedding, not saying whose. i will post asap. as always reviews, critique always welcomed. And i hope you guys enjoyed my first stab at writing fanfic, but there's still more to come. Yay?**


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